FAQs

The first thing you should do if you are arrested is call a criminal defense lawyer. Unfortunately, rather
than call a lawyer, here is a short list of frequent mistakes people make after an arrest:

• Make a statement to police that can be used against them
• Call a friend or family member and make a statement on a recorded line, or in a recorded room, that
  can be used against them
• Pay a bond that is too high, resulting in a reduction of funds necessary for a qualified criminal
  defense lawyer

A criminal defense lawyer can help. A skilled, experienced attorney will remind you not to make any
statements, to anyone, and not to discuss your situation on the phone, with anyone. A criminal defense
lawyer can also help you find a bondsman and even help you get your bond reduced, saving you money. Research
shows that the sooner your attorney is able to work on your case, the better the outcome of your case will
be.

Merely being accused of a crime is a life-changing event. Even if the charge against you is dismissed or if
you are acquitted by a jury, the accusation can stain your reputation forever. If you are a licensed
professional, you may have difficulty keeping your license or finding employment after a criminal charge, no
matter the outcome. Making a solid defense is expensive, regardless of your guilt or innocence.

• No criminal defense lawyer can promise you that you will not face any jail time. The outcome of any
  criminal defense case is highly fact-specific. Factors include, but certainly are not limited to:
• The jurisdiction in which you are charged, and its unique policies
• The charging prosecutor and the policies of its office
• The judge assigned to your case
• Your history and reputation, including any prior interactions with law enforcement
• The facts and circumstances of your case, including the nature and severity of the crime you are
  charged with
• Your choice of a lawyer

The criminal defense lawyer you choose is an important part of your defense strategy. You need a lawyer with
special experience, training, and focus for the defense of charges like the one brought against you. You
need a lawyer who is detail-oriented and who will study the law and the facts of your situation. Your lawyer
will need strong communication skills to communicate with the other players in your case, including
witnesses, the opposing attorney, and even the judge. And, importantly, you need a lawyer who tries cases,
who is comfortable in the courtroom, and who won’t be put off by the idea that a legal argument or a jury
trial may be necessary for the resolution of your matter.

In most criminal defense cases, the prosecutor will make a plea offer to you, through your attorney, to
resolve the case without a trial. Prosecutors make their initial case assessments and plea offers based on
the information available to them, which means that they may not know the full context and details necessary
to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the case fully. Your defense attorney can help you during
negotiations and pretrial litigation while preparing your case for trial. By working with and listening to
your lawyer, you will be able to make the choice about whether to compromise and plea or not, and about
whether to take the stand and testify or not.

A defense to allegations of financial crimes may include the absence, or lack of, intent. “Intent” is an
element of virtually all white-collar crimes, meaning that the government must prove – beyond a reasonable
doubt – that the defendant intended to wrongfully obtain money or property. In many white-collar crimes, the
defendant often had some authority to take specific types of action on behalf of their employer, giving rise
to a defense of mistake (with no intent) or even that the action taken was not a crime at all.

White-collar defense demands a high level of sophisticated data analysis and attention to detail. Our office
uses a variety of systems, including artificial intelligence, to enhance document review in cases involving
volumes of information. Certain types of financial misconduct fall within the scope of both state and
federal prosecutors, administrative agencies, and private entities, including civil attorneys, adding layers
of complexity and potential financial exposure, even when criminal charges are successfully avoided. Our
combined civil and criminal trial experience and cross-training give us a unique set of skills for the
defense of white-collar investigations.

Family law statutes give judges broad discretion to “fee-shift,” or to require one side to reimburse the
other side for part or all of their attorney fees incurred in the case. Although the law is clear that
attorney fee awards in divorces are not supposed to be awarded simply based on who “won,” most attorneys
assess their client’s attorney fee claim based on the outcome of the case (did they “win” or not). There are
a few big factors that impact attorney fee decisions:

• Income and resource disparity. If one side makes significantly more money than the other, this can
  be a factor in awarding fees to the side with less income.
• Bad litigation behavior. If one side behaves badly in the case, such as missing court dates, not
  responding properly to discovery, or other actions that drag the case out, this can be a factor in
  awarding fees to the side that did not engage in the bad behavior.
• Which parent puts the interests of the child above their own. In child custody cases, the judge may
  assess whether the parents were self-centered or if their claims in the case were child-centric. If
  a parent acted selfishly, dragged the case out, or made false claims to try to gain a strategic
  advantage, these can all be factors in awarding fees to the parent who acted with the interests of
  the children first.

One can never enter divorce or custody litigation as if they are assured an award of their attorney fees.
There are too many factors, and there is too much discretion involved. However, each side should be aware of
the factors that impact attorney fee awards and behave accordingly. Litigants who engage in bad or selfish
behavior do so at great risk – risking their credibility and exposure to an order requiring them to pay the
other side’s attorney fees.

A man is legally presumed to be the father of a child if he and the mother of the child are married to each
other, and the child is born during the marriage or within 300 days of the divorce or if, for the first 2
years of the child’s life, the father resided in the same household with the child and openly held out the
child as his own.

This scenario occurs frequently, especially in cases where spouses have been separated for months or years
but have not filed for divorce or have filed for divorce, but the case has not moved forward. In these
situations, there are special time limits for the husband, the “presumed” father, to take legal action, or
he will forever be legally determined to be the father and obligated to financially support a child that was
not planned by him, and that is not biologically his.

These situations can be complicated to sort out. If you are involved in a situation like this, you need
experienced counsel immediately. If you are involved in a situation concerning the paternity of a child,
please use the contact form on this page.

It is somewhat of a cliché to say, “Every case is different,” but it is true. The cost of a divorce varies
depending on a number of complicating factors, including the number of issues involved, the degree of
civility or hostility between the parties, the quality of each side’s respective attorney, and whether
experts are needed. Divorce attorneys are prohibited from being paid on a contingency basis, which means the
attorney cannot be compensated based on the outcome of the case. As a result, most divorce attorneys bill by
the hour for their time, regardless of the outcome.

We offer structured flat-fee arrangements to divorce clients to provide certainty of the cost of each option
and stage of a divorce.

The cost of a divorce can be significantly increased if one side is unreasonable. This means that you can be
very reasonable and set realistic expectations, but if your spouse is unreasonable or vindictive, the case
may take longer and cost more to bring to resolution. A quality divorce attorney can move the case forward,
but a quality attorney is going to charge more for their time than an ordinary or inexperienced attorney.

Every order that deals with custody and visitation must also deal with child support. The order must have a
child support calculation attached. Parents cannot “waive” child support. Child support is a mathematical
calculation. Some of the biggest factors that impact child support are each parent’s gross monthly income
and the number of overnights each parent has throughout the year. Sometimes, the child support calculation
will require the child support obligor to pay $0 per month, but this is not a waiver of child support.
Sometimes, parents can agree to deviate upwards or downwards. Deviations are limited to specific
circumstances and subject to approval by the judge.

In the most general sense, support alimony in Oklahoma is about need and ability to pay. Spousal support
alimony may be awarded if the requesting spouse demonstrates both:

1. A “need” for alimony and
2. That the other spouse has the “ability to pay” support.

Spousal support alimony is a “transitional” concept, meaning spousal support alimony is generally supposed
to be calculated to assist the spouse who needs the support to “transition” into post-marital life.
Historically, alimony was only awarded to females. The United States Supreme Court determined that
considering gender for alimony claims violates the Equal Protection provision of the United States
Constitution. Now, either spouse may make a claim for alimony, regardless of gender. Oklahoma law does not
give us a method or mathematical formula for calculating support alimony. Alimony is fact-sensitive and
depends upon the application of a number of factors, including:

• The length of the marriage
• The age of each spouse
• The earning and income-producing capacity of each spouse
• The physical condition of each spouse
• The financial means of each spouse
• The mode, or standard of living to which each spouse became accustomed during the marriage
• The amount of income-producing property awarded to each spouse
• The anticipated length of time it will take for the recipient to transition to the workforce
• The recipient’s cost of living during the transition or adjustment period
• The conduct of the parties

Additionally, there is a special type of alimony awarded when one spouse works to put the other spouse
through school, and then, shortly after graduation, they divorce. The spouse who worked to put the other
spouse through school may make a claim for compensation for their sacrifice.

Overall, alimony is supposed to be reasonable, under all of the circumstances of the case. Whether we are
seeking alimony or defending alimony, our process for handling cases helps our client establish the
important facts from the very beginning. Most family law attorneys know these factors, but there is a
difference between knowing the law and knowing how to try a case in a courtroom. Addressing alimony in a
case is about more than knowing these factors – it is about persuasively presenting the facts and the
evidence to the judge in a compelling way.

Not necessarily. Although emergency custody is generally for imminent danger, if the event or circumstances
were concealed from you, you may still have time and good cause to seek emergency custody. However, if you
know about the event and circumstances but take no action, over time you may lose the ability to seek
emergency custody unless something else happens.

Emergency custody motions draw a lot of scrutiny. If you have recently been involved in litigation,
regardless whether it concluded by settlement or after a trial, there may be questions asked such as “Why
now?” or “Why wasn’t this raised when you were here last?” You should be prepared to answer those questions
and show that you did not know about the circumstances, otherwise you would have brought it up previously.

An emergency custody request is the first part, not the final part, of a custody change. Even if you are
successful obtaining emergency custody, you will have to prove your case at a full hearing (a mini-trial).
You cannot take anything for granted, and there will be many more fees and expenses associate with the
upcoming hearing.

You need to take the emergency motion very seriously. Your parental rights and relationship are at stake.
Even though there are strict requirements for emergency custody, sometimes judges make mistakes and grant
weak and even baseless motions. Their job is to try to protect children. They will not readily dismiss the
emergency. You need a trial lawyer and you need to work quickly to prepare a strong case showing that there
is no reason for an emergency custody order.

Every separated or divorced parent of a minor child should keep a simple calendar and keep notes about when
they have the child and when the other parent has the minor child. Each parent should especially note when
there is a court-ordered schedule, and the other parent routinely does not exercise the time they could have
under the schedule.

If there is a court order for custody and visitation and a parent frequently declines to exercise their time
with a child, their failure to exercise their time with a child could be a reason to modify the custody and
visitation schedule. Whether there is a court order or not, when parents are separated, it is a good idea to
make a record of the time that each parent has each minor child. One factor that can impact child support
orders is the number of overnights each parent has. When a non-custodial or non-primary parent has 121 or
more overnights over a year, they can get a discount on their child support obligation called a “parenting
time adjustment.”

In a divorce or child custody case, sometimes a parent will try to get a schedule of at least 121 overnights
with a child just so that the parent can get the parenting time adjustment child support discount. In those
cases, an accurate calendar or record showing how much time that parent actually exercises can be good
evidence either for or against the proposed schedule. There is a child support law that says when a parent
gets the parenting time adjustment discount but does not exercise enough time with the child to have the
discount, the other parent can go back to court and ask for the full amount of child support that should
have been paid all along without the discount. In those cases, accurate records showing which parent had the
child are valuable evidence proving that the child support obligor did not spend the time necessary to
receive the child support reduction.

Keeping track of parenting time and significant events is relatively simple. All it takes is a small
calendar or daily planner. A mobile phone app that allows you to keep notes works, too. When there is a
noteworthy event related to the other parent or the child, make a simple note about what happened. Include
enough information about what happened so that if you are looking at it months or even years later, you will
be able to remember the important details. If the notes are made very close to when the event occurred, such
as the same day or the next day, there is a special rule of evidence that allows such notes to be read into
evidence in court if necessary.

The law treats records and notes made at the time events happened as more reliable and trustworthy instead
of sitting down and trying to think back and remember events that weren’t recorded when they happened.

If you use an app to keep your notes, make sure that your electronic devices are routinely backed up so that
you can access the information when needed. If you use a paper calendar, try to use a calendar that can
easily be copied or scanned. Do not keep notes about your private life on the same calendar, and do not make
derogatory notes or comments about the other parent. Keep in mind that at some unknown point in the future,
complete strangers such as lawyers, judges, and even child custody experts could be looking at your notes
and deciding if the notes are reliable and accurate.

Yes. A father can obtain custody, and a mother can lose custody, even if both parents are fit parents. There
are many myths and misconceptions about child custody. Here is a short list:

• Mothers will have an advantage in a custody case, especially if the child is a toddler or younger
• Mothers cannot lose custody unless they are found to be “unfit”
• Fathers will likely have alternating weekends or some form of parenting time (visitation), that is
  less than the mother’s time
• Mothers will not have to pay child support
• Only the noncustodial parent will have to pay child support – the custodial parent cannot be ordered
  to pay child support

The law presumes that each parent is fit. “Fitness” in the child custody context generally has more to do
with that individual parent, and that parent’s time and relationship with the child, than it has to do with
child custody between parents. In other words, an unfit parent is someone who poses some sort of safety risk
to their child, resulting in severe restrictions and limitations on their contact with a child. Since it is
presumed that each parent is a fit parent, neither parent has an advantage over the other parent simply
because they are fit.

It is unconstitutional for a judge to prioritize custody to one parent over another based on that parent’s
gender. There is still a perception that some judges will lean towards the mother having more time with
younger children, especially if they are breastfeeding, but that is changing. Oklahoma law prioritizes
shared parenting, so many judges are encouraging the mother to pump breast milk for the child’s time with
the father, but breastfeeding is not being used as a reason to limit the father’s parenting time.

Unless there is a question of parental fitness for one or both parents, child custody contests are
comparative and situational. In other words, the child’s “best interests” will be based on what each parent
has to offer the child, and how each parent treats the other parent. The standards of the case will vary
from case to case. In one case, a parent may obtain custody because they live closer to and have access to
superior schools and hospitals than the other parent. In another case, a parent who lives by the school and
hospital may lose custody because they work nights and weekends and are unavailable.

When all things are equal, the judge is supposed to assess which parent is most likely to encourage a
relationship between the child and the other parent. One way this assessment is made is by viewing which
parent follows the court’s orders (and which parent does not). Oklahoma’s appellate courts have upheld
changes in custody that were made due to one parent not following court orders and interfering with the
other parent’s time and relationship with the child.

Child support has more to do with each parent’s respective income and parenting time. When parents have
equal time, the parent with the highest income is the child support obligor, even if that parent has
custody. It is possible for a parent having demonstrably more time with a child than the other parent to
still be the child support obligor (payor), depending on each parent’s income.

Neither parent can afford to take anything for granted. In a child custody dispute, each parent has to work
hard to make their best presentation to the court about why they should have maximum parenting time.

A parenting coordinator is an impartial third party appointed by the court to assist parents in resolving
issues related to parenting and other family issues. A parenting coordinator must be a family law attorney
or a licensed mental health professional. Parents may agree to the appointment of a parenting coordinator,
or the judge may appoint a parenting coordinator even if the parents don’t want one, provided that the judge
makes a finding that the situation between the parents is “high conflict.” A parenting coordinator is
appointed by a special order that sets out the coordinator’s roles, responsibilities, and scope of work.

Once a parenting coordinator is appointed, either parent may bring certain parenting issues and disputes to
the parenting coordinator. In most cases, the dispute is initially presented by email, then the parenting
coordinator may request input from the other parent and even call a Zoom or in-person meeting. The parenting
coordinator typically hears each parent’s side of each issue. The parenting coordinator may interview the
children if necessary, although this is rare. After hearing each side, the parenting coordinator issues a
written report with a recommendation for resolution of the disputed issue. The report is often in the form
of a letter that is mailed to the court for filing. The written report becomes a court order within 10 days
unless one of the parents files an objection to the report. Unless the parenting coordinator made a serious,
obvious mistake, an objection to a parenting coordinator report has a low chance of success, as parenting
coordinators are a great asset to judges. The written reports can result in mini-adjustments and additions
to the court orders, but they cannot make long-term changes to parenting time.

Parenting coordinators can be excellent resources when communication between parents is difficult, when one
parent is unreasonable or a bully, when time-sensitive matters need prompt attention, or when other issues
arise that are important but would not be enough to initiate litigation. The best results from parenting
coordinators happen when the parent who needs assistance treats the parenting coordinator like a judge. This
means identifying the issues, trying to resolve them before taking them to the parenting coordinator, and
making the issues as simple as possible. Generally, the fewer issues that the parenting coordinator has to
deal with in any particular session, the better the parenting coordinator’s decision and report will be.

Joint custody and sole custody are legal decision-making concepts. Parents with joint legal custody must
make child-related decisions together, or jointly. When a parent has sole custody, that parent is permitted
to make the final call, or decision, on major decisions affecting the child.

Child-related matters include:

• Educational choices
• Religious practices
• Elective medical decisions
• Forms of discipline
• Travel
• Selection of extracurricular activities

In a sense, joint custody and sole custody have little to do with visitation or parenting time. Parents may
have equal time with their child, yet one may be designated as the “sole custodian” to make the final call
for major child-related decisions. Or, one parent may have the child most of the time, yet both parents may
have joint custody and still be expected to co-parent and share decision-making responsibility.

However, child-related matters related to custody generally concern “major” decisions affecting the
well-being of the child. Legal decision-making authority may matter less for parenting choices that have
less long-term impact, such as clothing and style, diet, and daily activities. Viewed this way, there is a
very loose relationship between a parent’s decision-making authority and the time that the parent has with
the child. A non-custodial parent may still decide things during visitation such as what food the child
eats, what they do together, other children that the child can play and socialize with, and bedtime. The
more time a parent has with a child, the more that parent will be a decisionmaker for the child, even if
that parent is the “non-custodial” parent, due to the nature of day-to-day decisions that must be made when
parenting a child. Both joint custodians and non-custodians will be expected to take their child on time to
the child’s school, appointments, practices and games, regardless of who and how the appointment was
scheduled.

In Oklahoma, there are four types of custodial arrangements:

• • Joint legal custody. This is the most common scenario. Both parents have equal
    decision-making rights, and neither parent has superior decision-making authority, so they
    have to agree on final major decisions, or they will need to get help making the decision
    from someone like a parenting coordinator, mediator or judge.
  • Sole legal custody. The custodial parent has the legal authority to make the final call for
    major child-related decisions.
  • Joint custody with the final say. Sometimes, the court order will include a joint custody
    plan and contain all the joint custody language and orders, with one extra provision
    providing one parent ultimate decision-making authority in the event of a dispute. Some
    argue that this is really sole custody in disguise, but it is not.
  • Parallel parenting. Parallel parenting is an unusual, uncommon and disfavored approach to
    child custody. It is sometimes implemented in extremely dysfunctional, high-conflict cases.
    In parallel parenting, the parents may not communicate or engage with one another in any
    meaningful way, and each parent is responsible for making decisions about their child during
    their respective parenting time.

Oklahoma law provides that each parent is entitled to access their child’s academic and health records,
regardless of custodial status. Unfortunately, third-party providers such as school administrators,
physicians and counselors are all affected by the myths and misinformation about what custody means. A joint
custodian may experience less resistance from third parties than a non-custodial parent.

Noncustodial parents have no rights

• False. Custodial status does not necessarily impact parenting time or visitation rights. A
  designation of “non-custodial parent” does not mean that you have lost parenting rights. A
  non-custodial parent has the legal right to access their child’s records, including records from
  school, doctors, and child care providers. Generally, if the custodial parent dies, the noncustodial
  parent becomes the custodial parent.

The custodial parent gets to make every single decision about the child

• False. The custodial parent is the final decision-maker for major decisions affecting the well-being
  of the child. The noncustodial parent may still make ordinary day-to-day decisions for the child
  during visitation. Even for major decisions, the custodial parent may be required to confer with the
  non-custodial parent before making the final call.

The custodial parent gets to decide whether the non-custodial parent gets visitation

• False. The custodial parent has a legal duty to facilitate and foster a relationship between the
  child and the non-custodial parent.

The non-custodial parent will have to pay child support

• Possibly. Child support is mostly a function of the parents’ respective gross incomes and their
  parenting time. There are frequent scenarios where the custodial parent is required to pay child
  support to the non-custodial parent.

The custodial parent will always get to claim the child for tax purposes

• Possibly. However, a judge can re-allocate this benefit between the parents, and the IRS will
  recognize the court order. The custodial parent may be required to fill out IRS Form 8332.

If one parent has sole custody, then the parents do not have to communicate or co-parent with one another.

• False. Each parent is entitled to child-related information, especially from school and medical care
  providers. The custodial parent has a duty to encourage a relationship between the child and the
  non-custodial parent.

The custodial parent will be the only one who can take a vacation with the child outside of the United
States.

• False. The custodial parent will have the authority to obtain a passport for the child. However, the
  court order can permit the non-custodial parent to access the passport for travel.

The custodial parent will be able to relocate from Oklahoma if they desire.

• False. The law concerning relocation has several factors. Custodial status is just one factor for
  relocation. The custodial parent will have a slight advantage in the event of a relocation request,
  but the relocation will not be automatically approved simply due to custody.

The noncustodial parent will only have alternating weekend visitation with the child

• False. Custody is distinct from time. Oklahoma law creates a presumption of “shared parenting,”
  meaning equal time or substantially equal time, regardless of joint custody or sole custody.

Judges have a great deal of discretion when assigning custody. Judges have the ability to award joint legal
custody but to designate one parent as the final decision-maker for disputes over one or more child-related
matters. There is presently no legal preference or presumption in favor of or against an award of joint
legal custody or sole legal custody. It is improper for a judge to award a parent joint or sole custody
based solely on that parent’s gender. Even though it is unconstitutional to favor one gender over another
when determining custody, it is no secret that some judges still have a default preference for placing
children with the mother, especially when the children are younger.

To share joint custody, the parents generally must demonstrate an ability to communicate and co-parent.
Sometimes, in divorce, a parent will try to obstruct communication and co-parenting so the other parent
cannot make a case for joint custody. There are cases where this strategy backfires, as judges are required
to assess which parent will encourage and facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent.

There are some extreme cases where both parents have behaved so badly in the eyes of the judge that the
judge will award both parents joint custody rather than give one of the parents sole custody. As joint
custody requires parents to agree on major decisions, situations like this often lead to the appointment of
a parenting coordinator or other expert, and many times, these cases end up back in court.

Being a noncustodial parent does not mean that there has been a loss of parental rights. Being a
noncustodial parent does not mean that the noncustodial parent is “unfit.” The noncustodial parent may still
have liberal visitation, or parenting time, access to all information about the child’s development and
wellbeing, as well as the ability to attend the child’s events and activities.

Even when one parent is awarded sole custody, the noncustodial parent has the right to access all
child-related information, including medical and academic records. If one parent has sole custody and dies
or becomes incapacitated, the noncustodial parent automatically has custodial rights, unless there is a
question about parental fitness.

On rare occasions, third-party providers such as teachers and pediatricians can be reluctant to share
information with a non-custodial parent, even though the law provides for information access, especially if
the custodial parent has misled the provider about what custody means. In those circumstances, sometimes the
issue can be cleared up with a copy of your court order and a letter from your attorney.

When the parents of a child were never married, Oklahoma law places sole legal and physical custody of the
child automatically with the biological mother, even if the father signed an acknowledgment of paternity,
and even if the father is named on the child’s birth certificate.

The father’s only right to the child is his duty to pay child support.

In these circumstances, the father would typically benefit significantly by initiating a lawsuit to obtain
an order to judicially establish his parental rights, including his custodial rights and rights to
visitation.

The father will not have legal rights, and the mother retains all custodial rights and control unless the
father files and obtains a judicial order that expressly determines that he is the father and that he has
parental rights of custody and visitation.

Same-sex couples have similar rights and obligations.

Oklahoma law provides for a two-year “lookback” in these cases for child support. When an individual is
determined to be the father, the judge is required to order the father to pay past-due child support for the
two years prior to the filing of the petition initiating the case. If the parents lived together for part of
the 2 year lookback period, the father may not have to pay child support for the time that they lived
together. Also, if the father paid child support during that two-year lookback period, he may get credit for
those payments.

Guardianship may be an option for minor children who do not have proper parental care. Guardianships are
usually necessary in unfortunate circumstances, including the death or incarceration of both parents or
abandonment of the children by the parents. To obtain guardianship of a minor child in a situation where the
parent does not agree that he or she is unfit, the potential guardian must prove that the parent is “unfit.”
The United States and Oklahoma Constitution provide strong protections for parental rights, so a person
seeking guardianship of a minor over the objection of the child’s parents must have strong evidence that the
parents are unfit to have custody and care of children. This often means that the parent is guilty of abuse
or neglect. Prospective guardians must pass stringent, thorough background checks and investigations to
demonstrate that they are qualified to have guardianship of children. While many guardianships are resolved
by agreement, in many circumstances, they are not agreed, so each involved individual will need strong legal
counsel to protect their rights and the interests of the children.

Because so many guardianships concern parental fitness, many times there are other legal considerations and
rights at issue. For example, if family members do not act quickly enough to intervene for their relative
children, the state may remove the children and place them in foster care. In other cases, guardianship can
be a predicate to the establishment of grandparent visitation rights. Guardians generally have the
responsibility for managing the child’s property and income, such as Social Security survivors or disability
benefits. Individuals involved in or associated with guardianship cases will benefit from the analysis and
advice of an experienced, knowledgeable family lawyer.

Having the ability to claim a “qualifying child” may give a taxpayer several tax benefits, such as head of
household filing status, the exemption for a dependent, the child tax credit, the child and dependent care
credit and the earned income tax credit. The IRS has specific tests to determine if a child is a qualifying
child. Claiming a child for tax purposes can have significant value. The 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act doubled
the maximum child tax credit from $1,000 to $2,000 per child under age 17 and added a $500 nonrefundable
credit for children ineligible for the $2,000 credit.

A child may be a dependent of only one taxpayer for a given tax year. In other words, divorced parents may
not claim the same child for the same tax year.

Generally, the child will be treated as the qualifying child of the custodial parent.

Parents can agree, or family court judges can order, that the noncustodial parent may claim the child as a
dependent and as a qualifying child for the child tax credit. Oklahoma appellate courts have held over and
over again that the right to claim a child as a dependent for tax purposes is a modifiable child support
issue and that judges have jurisdiction to allocate the federal income tax dependency exemption for
children. A judge can order a custodial parent to sign IRS Form 8332 to permit the noncustodial parent to
claim a child for a given tax year.

However, even in those circumstances, IRS rules will not permit the noncustodial parent to claim head of
household filing status, the earned income credit, the credit for child and dependent care expenses, the
exclusion for dependent care benefits, or the health coverage tax credit.

Here is a reason why claiming a child is a child support issue: under tax laws, child support is not taxed
as income, and it is not a deductible expense for the child support obligor. If the parent who receives
child support also gets to claim the child every year, that parent effectively receives a “windfall” by
having all of the tax benefits related to the child (receiving both non-taxable child support and the child
dependency exemption). So in both joint custody and sole custody cases, even where the child support obligor
has limited visitation, courts typically allocate the dependency exemption on an alternating basis so that
at least every other year, the person paying child support gets at least part of the tax benefit for the
child they are supporting.

There is an exception: when the child support obligor is seriously behind on child support or does not pay
altogether, that parent may not be permitted to claim the child for income tax purposes. It would not be
fair to allow a nonpayer to claim a child that they are not supporting when the other parent has had to go
for months without any child support, and it would not be fair for a nonpayer to fail to pay support then
get a tax refund from the child they were not supporting, even if the tax refund goes toward child support.
In many cases, courts require the noncustodial parent to be current on child support by the end of the tax
year, or the noncustodial parent will lose the ability to claim the child for that tax year.

Child support and visitation are not equivalents. A noncustodial parent who pays all their child support and
is being denied visitation cannot expect the custodial parent to receive the scrutiny and criticism that the
noncustodial parent would receive if they did not pay child support. Being timely and current on child
support is viewed as a minimum standard, and a parent who pays on time may not receive special credit or
even acknowledgment for it.

All child-related matters are controlled by a concept called equity. Here is the rule you need to know about
equity:

He who seeks equity must do equity and come into court with clean hands.

This means you will have a hard time asking for anything and getting any kind of good result if you have not
done what you were supposed to do.

However, if there is no court order, voluntary child support payments will look good for you, especially as
opposed to “I’m not paying until there’s an order.” Every parent has a legal duty to financially support
their minor children, even if there is no child support calculation. If there is no court order and the
other parent is denying access to a child without justification, you will be able to point out that despite
their obstinance, you continue to pay child support because you are a responsible parent. If there is a
court order and the other side is interfering with your visitation or parenting time, you will be better
served to continue paying your child support rather than taking the position, “I’m not paying until I get to
see my kid.” If you refuse to pay because the other side is violating the order, you will both be viewed as
guilty of violating court orders, even if the other side violated the order first.

If you are ordered to pay child support and your child custody situation needs to be changed, you should
prioritize making your child support current. Otherwise, you risk spending a great deal of time and money
only to lose the case, and for your child to not get the help it needs, because you allowed the judge to be
distracted by your nonpayment.

Yes. In many child custody cases, a judge may consider a child’s preference as a factor in its decision. The
law says that at age 12, a child is of sufficient age to form an intelligent preference about custody and
visitation. Children younger than 12 may also state a preference if the circumstances show that the child is
intelligent and has good reasons for their preference.

No matter the age of the child, many courts view child preference testimony with skepticism. A child may be
subject to manipulation, especially if one parent has had the child isolated from the other parent for a
significant period of time or if one parent has substantial financial resources and can promise the child a
reward for stating a specific preference. Even if no one has tried to influence a child, the child may feel
an extraordinary, inappropriate amount of pressure when asked to “choose” a parent. Some judges are less
comfortable than other judges with the idea of bringing a child into their office for an interview, so child
preference interviews take place in several non-exclusive formats:

• The parents may agree on what the child’s preference is, even if they do not agree about what is
  best for the child (in other words, a parent can claim that despite a child’s preference, the
  child’s best interests would be served by an alternative arrangement)
• The child’s preference may come through the child’s counselor
• The child preference may come through a court-appointed attorney for the child (different from a
  guardian ad litem)
• The child’s preference may come through a court-appointed guardian ad litem (different from an
  attorney for the child)
• The child may state a preference directly to the judge

A child’s preference does not mean that the child will run the show. The judge has to consider the
preference in light of all the other circumstances of the situation. If your child has a strong preference,
you cannot take anything for granted, and you will need to prepare your evidence for your custody case as if
the child may not be interviewed at all.

Child Support and Child Custody are Legally Distinct From One Another

Okla. Stat. tit. 43 § 111.1(B) says,

B. 1. Except for good cause shown, when a noncustodial parent who is ordered to pay child support and who is
awarded visitation rights fails to pay child support, the custodial parent shall not refuse to honor the
visitation rights of the noncustodial parent.

2. When a custodial parent refuses to honor the visitation rights of the noncustodial parent, the
noncustodial parent shall not fail to pay any ordered child support or alimony.

If that’s not clear enough, in 1983, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled,

The welfare of the child is paramount, and the duty of a non-custodial parent to support his or her child is
contingent upon the needs of the children. It is not dependent upon the opportunity of the parents to
exercise visitation privileges.

The duties of support and visitation are not interdependent and should be separately enforced.

Entitlement to child support is not contingent upon visitation rights.

This was in the case of Hester v. Hester, 1983 OK 50, 663 P.2d 727.

So, we are told that “legal” custody and visitation are separate from child support.

In Some Ways, Child Support and Child Custody are Not Very Distinct

However, as a practical matter, if a parent is behind on child support, that parent should expect extra
scrutiny and skepticism from the judge if the parent who owes child support is in court for any reason. Many
parents know that child support is separate from visitation, so they expect to be able to go to court to ask
for changes to visitation or custody and have a level playing field.

They won’t.

Okla. Stat. tit. 43 § 112(G) says,

G. In any case in which a child support order or custody order or both is entered, enforced or modified, the
court may make a determination of the arrearages of child support.

This means even if neither side really brings up the issue of child support before trial, if the parent who
was ordered to pay hasn’t been paying, you can expect it to be brought up. The reality on the ground is that
judges are very critical of parents who are not paying their court-ordered child support. By not paying
child support, the nonpaying parent effectively hands the other parent a hammer: a powerful, blunt weapon
that they can use to attack any claims for visitation or custody made by the nonpaying parent. Some
examples:

The nonpaying parent says, “Judge, they’re not taking the child to the doctor as needed. I am available and
will take the child if given the opportunity.”

The other parent: “It would be easier to make appointments if we had the child support we need to make ends
meet!”

The nonpaying parent says, “Judge, the child is making statements that indicate that the other parent is
talking bad about me.”

The other parent: “Judge, he’s not paying child support. Life in our home is extra difficult as a result.”

Child support delinquency will be treated as a complete defense by the other parent, and the judge will
likely be very critical of any issues raised by the parent who is behind on child support.

Times get tough and people get behind, but if you have custody and visitation issues, you cannot afford to
get behind on child support. You cannot imagine the additional scrutiny you will go through. If you are
behind on child support and go to court about an issue related to custody or visitation, you can expect to
be asked about your hobbies and lifestyle in the most invasive, intrusive ways possible.

If you’re behind on child support yet you frequent casinos, use tobacco, vape, travel, carry an expensive
cell phone, play video games, eat at restaurants, drink at bars, donate to a church, hunt, fish, drive a
nice car, or buy new tires for your car, your credibility will be absolutely destroyed in court. If you are
behind on child support, you cannot afford any indulgence, any luxury, or any extravagant expense. The court
will be a very unpleasant experience.

Paying Child Support Can Benefit Your Custody Case

Child support and visitation are not equivalents. A noncustodial parent who pays all their child support and
is being denied visitation cannot expect the custodial parent to receive the scrutiny and criticism that the
noncustodial parent would receive if they did not pay child support. Being timely and current on child
support is viewed as a minimum standard, and a parent who pays on time may not receive special credit or
even acknowledgment for it.

All child-related matters are controlled by a concept called equity. Here is the rule you need to know about
equity:

He who seeks equity must do equity and come into court with clean hands.

This means you will have a hard time asking for anything and getting any kind of good result if you have not
done what you were supposed to do.

However, if there is no court order, voluntary child support payments will look good for you, especially as
opposed to “I’m not paying until there’s an order.” Every parent has a legal duty to financially support
their minor children, even if there is no child support calculation. If there is no court order and the
other parent is denying access to a child without justification, you will be able to point out that despite
their obstinance, you continue to pay child support because you are a responsible parent. If there is a
court order and the other side is interfering with your visitation or parenting time, you will be better
served to continue paying your child support rather than taking the position, “I’m not paying until I get to
see my kid.” If you refuse to pay because the other side is violating the order, you will both be viewed as
guilty of violating court orders, even if the other side violated the order first.

If you are ordered to pay child support and your child custody situation needs to be changed, you should
prioritize making your child support current. Otherwise, you risk spending a great deal of time and money
only to lose the case, and for your child to not get the help it needs, because you allowed the judge to be
distracted by your nonpayment.

There are two answers to this question.

No, a protective order cannot be used to obtain child custody.

The protective order statute includes the following:

A protective order issued under the Protection from Domestic Abuse Act shall not in any manner affect title
to real property, purport to grant to the parties a divorce or otherwise purport to determine the issues
between the parties as to child custody, visitation or visitation schedules, child support or division of
property or any other like relief obtainable pursuant to Title 43 of the Oklahoma Statutes, except child
visitation orders may be temporarily suspended or modified to protect from threats of abuse or physical
violence by the defendant or a threat to violate a custody order. Orders not affecting title may be entered
for good cause found to protect an animal owned by either of the parties or any child living in the
household.

In a case called Murlin v. Pearman, the Oklahoma Supreme Court held that a protective order was frivolous
when it was filed to gain an advantage in a child custody case.

So the law is clear: a protective order cannot be used for child custody. Child custody cases are separate
legal matters that are filed in family court.

Yes, protective orders are used every day to obtain child custody.

Every day in Oklahoma, people who are separating or breaking up file protective orders to gain leverage in
their divorce or child custody case. Judges routinely award protective orders that include and cover minor
children, meaning that the minor child is removed from the other parent, even when the other parent has a
valid court order for custody. Parents use protective orders to obtain emergency, ex parte orders based on
false or exaggerated statements even when they know that what they claim would be insufficient to obtain
emergency custody of the child. Judges allow this to happen and refuse to find that it is frivolous conduct
even though the Oklahoma Supreme Court said that doing so is frivolous.

If a protective order has been filed against you simply to obtain an advantage in a divorce or child custody
case, you will need the assistance of an attorney to review the allegations and advise you concerning your
options.

To request emergency custody of a child, the person seeking the emergency must be able to show that an
emergency order is necessary because the child is in harm’s way and will likely be irreparably harmed if the
emergency is not granted. An emergency motion must have a report of some kind attached, such as a police
report, DHS report or a sworn statement by someone who is an eyewitness to the dangerous situation. In at
least one Oklahoma court, the sworn statement cannot be made by the person who is asking for emergency
custody – it must be from someone else.

Years ago, the law about emergency orders was unclear. There were no clear standards defining what was an
emergency. As a result, people would claim things were emergencies simply because of their own oversight or
disagreements. For example, it was common to see separated or divorced parents file emergency motions during
Christmas break when they simply could not agree on how to divide the break.

In 2010, Oklahoma passed a law setting standards for emergency custody requests. The motion must show that
the child is in surroundings that endanger the safety of the child and that if such conditions continue, the
child would likely be subject to irreparable harm. Because emergency motions are presented in a hurry, the
statute attempts to set some standards and expectations for reliability. In addition to the requirement that
a report or a sworn statement be attached to the motion, the statute also provides that if any of the
information in the motion that the judge relied on turns out to be false, the person who asked for emergency
custody must pay attorney fees and costs that resulted from their emergency motion.

The person seeking emergency custody has to create (type out) an emergency motion, attach a report or a
sworn statement in support of the motion, and sign a verification attached to the motion asserting that the
allegations are true. The person seeking emergency custody must also create a proposed emergency order
setting out the relief they are requesting. Most judges require the person seeking emergency custody to call
the other side (usually the other parent) to give them notice that they are seeking emergency relief.
Emergency custody motions are generally reviewed the same day, and the judge will either issue an order
granting emergency relief or deny the motion for failure to properly allege an emergency.

What are surroundings endangering the safety of the child, and What is irreparable harm? The answers depend
on the facts and circumstances of each case. If domestic violence is taking place in a child’s home, it is
probably an emergency situation, even if the aggressor is not the other parent. If drug use is taking place
in a child’s home, again, even if the user is not the other parent, it is probably an emergency situation.
However, other situations depend on the age and needs of the child. For example, there is a big difference
between a 15-year-old being left at home for an hour versus an infant being left alone for an hour.

Even with the law setting standards for emergency custody orders, the procedure for emergency custody varies
widely in each county and with each judge. For example, protective order law includes this:

A protective order issued under the Protection from Domestic Abuse Act shall not in any manner affect title
to real property, purport to grant to the parties a divorce or otherwise purport to determine the issues
between the parties as to child custody, visitation or visitation schedules, child support or division of
property or any other like relief obtainable pursuant to Title 43 of the Oklahoma Statutes, except child
visitation orders may be temporarily suspended or modified to protect from threats of abuse or physical
violence by the defendant or a threat to violate a custody order.

Even though that is the law, the reality is many judges allow people to file protective orders on behalf of
their children and use the protective order process to completely disrupt custody and visitation schedules
for months. In some cases, the person who is seeking emergency custody will file a motion for emergency
custody with the family judge and a petition for a protective order, sometimes with a different judge, and
sometimes even in a completely different county! The standards for emergency custody and protective orders
are different, so a parent could have inconsistent rulings by different judges concerning the allegations.

If an emergency order is granted, judges and attorneys operate by a “rule of thumb” and generally expect to
have an adversarial hearing (a mini-trial) on the emergency either 10 days or 14 days after the emergency
order was granted. There is no law on this. If DHS has an open investigation, some judges will refuse to
permit the full hearing until the DHS investigation is complete. This means that if an emergency order is
granted, months could pass before there is ever any kind of meaningful hearing or progress in the case.

What This Means For You

If you believe a child is in harm’s way, you have to have evidence to convince the judge that an emergency
order is necessary that day. Most judges initially view emergency requests with skepticism, because everyone
knows that some people still say things are emergencies that are not. You must be pr about identifying
potential witnesses and finding out if there are any reports, including police reports, DHS reports, news
articles or medical records. You should also look for other evidence, including text messages, photos, and
social media posts that you may be able to use. If you are successful in getting an emergency order, you
cannot take anything for granted. You must continue to prepare for the adversarial hearing, which means
organizing your evidence and subpoenaing your witnesses. You should expect that the other parent will deny
everything at the hearing, so you will need as much strong, independent proof about the situation as you can
get.

If the judge will not permit a full, adversarial hearing until the DHS investigation is complete, you may
think that the outcome will depend on what DHS says. This is not necessarily the case. DHS may
“unsubstantiate” the allegations, yet the judge may disagree with DHS and keep the emergency in place. DHS
may “substantiate” the allegations, but the judge may find that there is no emergency and vacate the
emergency order. The work of DHS, like any other investigator, is simply a factor, or part of the evidence
for the judge to consider.

Sometimes there are law enforcement investigations taking place at the same time as the emergency custody
request, where law enforcement tries to determine if a crime possibly occurred. Just like with DHS, it is
possible for someone to be arrested, yet the family law judge determines that there was no emergency. It is
just as possible for no arrests to be made and for the family law judge to find that the allegations are
true and keep the emergency order in effect.

Likewise, if there is a protective order in front of one judge and an emergency custody request in front of
another judge, the judges may not treat the situation the same. The protective order judge may rule that the
matter is a family law situation and dismiss the protective order, but the protective order judge may also
keep the protective order in place indefinitely. The family law judge could dismiss the emergency, but the
protective order could still be in effect. Or, even if the protective order is dismissed, the family law
judge could still sustain the emergency and keep the emergency order in place.

Sometimes emergencies happen, and the courthouse is closed. Courts are only open Monday through Friday, from
8:30 to 5 pm. When a parent has good cause to believe that their child is a victim of abuse or neglect or
suffering from the effects of domestic violence in the other parent’s home, visitation may be withheld. This
is a very short-term, temporary solution, meaning that a parent with this kind of information must take
legal action as soon as possible, rather than simply withhold visitation indefinitely.

If you have been falsely accused and someone has obtained emergency custody of your child, you need a
courtroom trial lawyer who has experience in child custody emergencies, parental rights and criminal defense
trials. Our law firm is one of the very few law firms that handle both family law and criminal defense
cases. You may be facing an emergency child custody case in family court, a protective order in protective
order court, and investigations by DHS and law enforcement. The stress is compounded by the reality that
your contact with your child will be very limited, and sometimes nonexistent until you go to court. You
cannot take anything for granted. You must prepare with your lawyer for the hearing as if it is a full trial
because the judge has already determined, based on one-sided information, that your child is in a dangerous
situation.

In protective order cases, the law says that if the petitioner prevails and obtains a protective order, the
judge can award the petitioner their attorney fees associated with bringing the protective order. It is
almost impossible for the defendant to recover attorney fees from the petitioner if the defendant wins. If
the defendant wins, the defendant has to show:

• The petition for a protective order was filed frivolously, and
• No victim exists

This is a very high standard, and it is extremely rare to see defendants obtain attorney fees in protective
order cases. It is very common to see petitioners obtain attorney fees in protective order cases.

In emergency custody cases, the law says that if any relevant information provided to the court which the
court relied on to make its emergency custody decision turns out to be false, the court shall assess against
the person who brought the emergency all attorney fees and costs incurred as a result of the emergency
custody hearing. Even though this is the law, it is rare to see an award of attorney fees and costs awarded
against the person who brought the emergency custody motion, even when most or all of the allegations in the
emergency motion can be disproven.

Our law firm has special skills for these situations. Many attorneys can tell you the law about emergencies,
but few have a real strategy for the courtroom. Whether we are seeking emergency custody or contesting a
false or exaggerated claim, our procedure for handling cases is a product of our skills, training and
experience. If your parental rights have been impacted by an emergency custody order, you need a lawyer who
can advise you about family law and criminal law. We can help you prepare to testify for these hearings so
you can be prepared to handle the stress and anxiety of testifying and present your evidence in an
effective, credible way.

We Identify the Evidence Early On

We stress the importance of information-gathering at the onset of our work in every case. We have found that
prly gathering and organizing information on our own, without a court order or a request by anyone, helps us
have superior case analysis. Early information-gathering gives our clients an advantage for identifying and
requesting more data, settlement offers and negotiation, and trial preparation. In many cases, we are able
to obtain very favorable settlements or favorable court rulings based solely on the hard work we do with our
clients by organizing our evidence as soon as possible. Our attorneys have taught these concepts to other
attorneys due to our insight and perspective into the trial preparation process.

Sometimes, We Have To Push The Other Side To Produce Evidence

However, there are some cases where we need information from someone else: either the opposing party or a
third party. In many cases, the opposing party does not produce needed material, even when they are legally
required to do so. Often, we can get the judge involved and force them to produce because we can show that
we have clean hands and have produced everything while they are obstructing progress in the case through bad
behavior. Involving the judge takes time and can cause case delays, so in every circumstance, we try to
pause and ask, “How bad do we really need this?” to evaluate whether the cost of pursuing the information
will outweigh the benefit.

You May Be Temporarily Inconvenienced Due To The Other Side’s Delay

There are circumstances where we should stop case progress and even wait to have a hearing until the other
side has appropriately participated in the exchange of information. Most of those situations are in cases
where the other side is making a false or exaggerated claim and refusing to produce any evidence pertaining
to their claim. The most difficult of those circumstances is when our client lives in another state or
country. We have had clients make plans to travel from long distances for hearings, only to arrive and learn
that the opposing party and their lawyer have been misleading about their evidence. Unfortunately, if we
choose to proceed with a hearing in those cases, the other side will sit on the witness stand and offer bad
evidence because they know they did not produce the requested evidence that would show that they are wrong.

Family law is notorious for bad behavior. Your opponent may be willing to see what they can get away with
simply to run up your costs of preparation and travel to hearings that will be delayed due to their
misconduct. You should work with your attorney to assess whether you are ready to have the hearing with what
you have or if you should wait and work with the judge to force the other side to produce evidence. If you
proceed with the hearing without everything you need, you may receive an unfavorable ruling from the judge
simply because you did not have the information the other side should have produced.

Unfortunately, if you are getting married, the odds of divorce are high. The current marriage rate is 6.1
per 1,000, and the divorce rate is 2.7 per 1,000. Over 20 percent of first marriages end in divorce within
five years, and nearly half of marriages dissolve by the 20-year mark. No matter your reason for marriage,
your philosophy, or your desire, you should recognize going into a marriage that if your spouse later
requests a divorce, you will not be able to fully control the situation at that time.

However, you can control the situation to a degree if you take action before your marriage. With a
prenuptial agreement, you can define the rules for divorce and remove some of the risks, uncertainty, and
expenses associated with a divorce. Oklahoma has default rules that apply to divorces with no prenuptial
agreement. For example, in “equitable distribution” states such as Oklahoma, the standard for property
division is what is “fair,” not necessarily 50-50. In some divorces where there was no agreement before the
marriage, people spend tens of thousands of dollars for their attorneys to fight about whether the division
of property in their divorce will be equal or not. You can eliminate that fight with a prenuptial agreement.
You may define your terms for spousal support: you may agree that neither of you may ever claim spousal
support from the other, or you may implement a calculation or tiered approach to remove discretion from a
judge in the future. You may define the standards for determining what is separate property and marital
property, and you may even require each side to bear their attorney fees in the event of a divorce.

A prenuptial agreement is a risk management vehicle. Paying to address foreseeable issues can forestall
extreme monetary expense and the emotional toll accompanying divorce proceedings that do not have such
certainty. Although all risk and uncertainty cannot be eliminated, a well-written prenuptial agreement can
save tens and even hundreds of thousands of dollars in exposure to spousal support, attorney fees, and
invasion of what you believe to be premarital or gifted separate property.

As you can see, you do not need to be a millionaire or even have a lot of income or property for a
prenuptial agreement to make sense. If you are getting married, you likely assume that the two of you will
make more money as time goes on and that the two of you will accumulate more property over time as well. A
prenuptial agreement does not have to be onerous or unfair to one side, and it can be mutually beneficial
for each person to know what the terms will be if the marriage does not work out.

When a married person dies, their spouse takes at least 1/3rd of the deceased spouse’s estate. This is true
whether there is a will or not. Even if you have a will providing for all of your property to go to your
children, if you are married when you die, your spouse can claim a substantial part of your estate, no
matter what your will says. The only exception to this rule is for a prenuptial agreement making some other
type of designation for the property. Even though the law provides that a surviving spouse is entitled to
part of the deceased spouse’s estate, the surviving spouse may not take more from the estate than what is
provided in a valid prenuptial agreement. As you can see, if you have children from prior relationships and
wish to set aside your estate for them, a prenuptial agreement can play an essential role in your estate
planning and even be more powerful than a will.

To finalize your case, the court order will have to be created by one of the attorneys. Whether your case is
resolved through a private settlement or at a trial, the attorneys are responsible for preparing the
paperwork rather than the mediator or the judge.

This is a problem in most cases because attorneys are both busy and great procrastinators. Divorce decrees
and other orders have complex elements and require close attention to detail. For many lawyers, it is easier
to put off drafting the papers and work on other projects, and many times, they will be granted a pass by
the judge for many weeks. For cases resolved by agreement, delay can impact the deal as people start to
re-think and second-guess the terms of their agreement over time. Settlements often fall apart for no other
reason than the attorneys taking too long to type the court order.

We solved this problem. In 2021, we acquired powerful technology that includes sophisticated, fast document
generation. We can generate final documents so quickly that we prepare the final court orders at your
mediation session rather than weeks afterward. Our clients have an advantage in negotiation because we are
able to capture agreements on-site and make the terms binding on both parties.

Every case is different, and many decrees and final orders contain provisions unique to the specific matter.
Even so, our document-generation software allows us to create the standard parts of your documents speedily
and easily add the custom terms and language necessary for your case.

Yes. Property acquired during the marriage is presumed to have been jointly acquired, no matter how it is
titled (whose name is on it). The definition of marital property is so broad that unvested stock options
acquired by one spouse during the marriage have been determined to be divisible as marital property.

The standard for defining marital property, which may be divided, is:

• It is a valuable right that has been purchased through joint efforts of the spouses to the extent
  that it has been acquired or enhanced during the marriage, and, as such, becomes jointly acquired
  property during the marriage.

Business and asset valuation is an important part of divorce cases to ensure that each spouse obtains their
fair share of marital property value. Even when a property is separate – a property that was owned by one
spouse prior to the marriage – in certain circumstances, the non-titled spouse may have a claim to a part of
the increase in value in the owning spouse’s separate property during the marriage. This is a common issue
with deferred compensation plans, such as pensions and 401(k)s, when one spouse had an interest in the
deferred compensation plan prior to the marriage and the plan increased in value during the marriage.

A prenuptial agreement, called an “antenuptial agreement” by some in Oklahoma, is a powerful tool for any
couple who is about to be married, even if neither is a millionaire. Once signed, prenuptial agreements set
the terms for support and property division in the event of death or divorce. As prenuptial agreements are
almost impossible to set aside, it is important for each side to have skilled, independent legal advice and
representation during the negotiation and drafting process.

Prenuptial agreements have been around for thousands of years. A prenuptial agreement enables a couple
contemplating marriage to define their expectations for the division of property and payment of support in
the event of divorce. Prenuptial agreements also affect the disposition of property in the event of the
death of one of the spouses, making the prenuptial agreement an estate-planning document. Once signed, a
valid prenuptial agreement deviates from defaults set by law and alters the rights of the spouses.

For example, a prenuptial agreement could say that, no matter what happens in the marriage, neither side
will have a claim to support alimony. Prenuptial agreements have special favor in the eyes of the law and
the courts, so, if prepared properly, a prenuptial agreement may be impossible to set aside. Prenuptial
agreements are serious decisions and should not be entered into without much planning and thought and the
advice of an experienced, specially-trained family law attorney.

Prenuptial agreements are enforceable so long as they are “fair, just, and reasonable.” The attitude of
Oklahoma courts toward prenuptial agreements is favorable, as such agreements are said to foster marriage
between a couple who might otherwise not marry and give both partners up front information about how the
other’s property may be disposed of and thus eliminate unnecessary disputes and conflicts. If you wish to
have a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage, then both of you will be best served if you are reach
represented by your own attorney. This has at least two benefits: 1. Each of you will have independent legal
advice and the ability to ask questions and obtain information privately, and 2. Later, it will eliminate
the ability of one side to claim, “I didn’t have counsel – I didn’t know what I was doing.” Each side will
be best served by keeping a copy of all correspondence between the lawyers through the drafting and
negotiating process, as the communication may be useful later in demonstrating that each side was being
served by their attorney. Each side should make full disclosure of his and her worth.

This is often accomplished by a list of assets with values. The list should be a part of a conversation
between the couple as the wedding and the prenuptial agreement is discussed, as it is important that in
addition to the list, each side has generally accurate knowledge of the other’s worth. It helps if the
correspondence between the attorneys reflects the transmittal of this information during the drafting and
negotiation process, so neither side can later claim that they never actually saw or had access to the
information. Prenuptial agreements take time to negotiate, prepare, and sign. Springing the idea of a
prenuptial agreement just before exchanging vows raises many questions. Most attorneys will be uncomfortable
with a prenuptial agreement proposal mere days before a wedding. If you desire a prenuptial agreement, you
should discuss it with your partner months before your wedding takes place.

Prenuptial agreements are very difficult to challenge. As Oklahoma law has developed over time, our
appellate courts have addressed a variety of situations. Prenuptial agreements may be set aside based on
fraud or duress, both of which are extremely difficult claims to prove. However, if you are going through a
divorce and your prenuptial agreement has a potential weakness, you may be able to negotiate more favorable
terms if your spouse is not willing to take on the expense and risk of a hearing to challenge the prenuptial
agreement.

Protective orders are some of the least understood, most abused legal procedures in Oklahoma. One possible
reason for this is that protective orders are very easy to obtain. Anyone who wants to file a protective
order can go to a police station or the courthouse and, without the assistance of a lawyer, write out any
accusation against anyone and obtain a protective order.

Another possible reason that protective orders are misunderstood and abused is that there are generally no
consequences for a person who files a false or exaggerated protective order. The law prohibits the judge
from assessing attorney fees against the petitioner unless the judge finds that the protective order was
“frivolous,” which is a very rare finding.

Because protective orders are so easily obtained and there are almost no consequences for overstating or
misstating facts, every day courtrooms are filled with protective order petitioners and defendants who are
not represented by counsel. This is a mistake for each side.

Even though the protective order is easy to get initially, at the hearing, courtroom rules of evidence and
procedure apply. This means a petitioner who needs a protective order and is unrepresented may have
difficulty obtaining a protective order due to being unprepared to present their evidence. It also means
that a defendant who is unrepresented and falsely accused may end up with a life-changing permanent
protective order against them, impacting their job, their hobbies, and their parental rights.

Federal law prohibits protective order defendants from possessing firearms or ammunition, even during the
temporary stage before the defendant has ever had a chance to present his or her side of the case to the
judge. Oklahoma law says that if a protective order has been issued against someone who is a parent, that
parent’s time with his or her children must now be supervised – even if the person who filed the protective
order is not the other parent, and even if the allegations do not involve anything to do with children.

Many professions do not permit their employees or licensees to work if a protective order shows up on a
background check. Oklahoma law also makes it illegal for a parent to file for a protective order simply to
obtain an advantage in their own custody case. Recently, Oklahoma law has developed to assure each side of a
protective order the ability to request “discovery” from the other side to obtain information related to the
allegations in the protective order case. For all these reasons and more, if you are involved in a
protective order case, you need the advice and representation of a skilled courtroom trial lawyer.

The legal community is a small community. Most of us know each other. We definitely know who is capable of
handling a case in trial and who is not. This does not justify underestimating any opponent, but some
attorneys try bully tactics and try to take advantage of the other side if they do not believe the other
side is willing or able to call their bluff and present the case well at trial. The Oklahoma legal community
knows that we are not afraid of trial and that we are good at trial.

We settle cases, and we try cases. We settle cases for good outcomes for our clients because we prepare for
trial. If the other side is unreasonable, uncooperative or a bully, we are able to keep moving the case
forward with or without their participation because we know how to do it.

Family law is fact-specific. Judges have very broad discretion when making decisions about divorce or child
custody cases. There is generally a great deal of distrust between divorcing spouses or opposing parents.
False or exaggerated allegations are frequent in every kind of case. All this contributes to uncertainty.
You may be on the way to a settlement – a complete agreement – then the other side hires a new lawyer and
announces that all deals are off. By preparing for trial with a lawyer who knows how to try a case, you may
still maximize your chance of a good settlement while remaining prepared for trial in the event a trial is
necessary, even if you are not the one who made the trial necessary.

If you are interviewing with an attorney, ask the attorney about their skills training. Most attorneys will
either mention their law school or they will talk about their experience. Ask yourself, how much does
experience matter? Do you know of a mechanic who has been around for 20 years, but you would never take your
car to them? Do you know of a restaurant that has been open for 20 years, but you would never eat there? Do
you know of a hotel that has been open for 20 years, but you would never stay there? Experience has some
value – you don’t want the lawyer to learn hard lessons at your expense – but there are plenty of
“experienced” attorneys who have no idea what they’re doing in the courtroom. Ask the attorney about their
process. Do they have a manual or a written procedure for how a case should be handled? Why not?

Our skills training includes:

• National College of Criminal Defense for cross-examination
• National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers for cross-examination, jury selection and defending
  against sex crime allegations
• Association of Family and Conciliation Courts for presenting mental health evidence for parents and
  children
• American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers for valuing businesses and scrutinizing financial records
• National Institute for Trial Advocacy for depositions
• Trial Lawyers College for jury selection
• National Family Law Trial Institute for trying divorce and family law cases and for valuing
  businesses

We combine our trial skills with cutting-edge knowledge of the law applicable to family law and trial
skills. Have you ever seen a photo of an attorney standing in front of a bunch of boring law books that all
look the same? We have a real library full of books and DVDs to add to our knowledge and trial skills. We
have DVDs to watch with our clients to help them prepare to testify in deposition and trial, and we have
books that clients can borrow to read to learn how to testify well. Our work with the organizations listed
above includes aggressive continuing education on state, national and international developments in trial
philosophy and practice.

You hire a lawyer for legal advice and for representation and advocacy on your behalf. Your lawyer is an
extension of yourself. When your lawyer speaks while working for you, the words of your lawyer are
attributed to you. What your lawyer does for you and your situation will directly impact the outcome.

If you hire a lawyer for an appeal and the lawyer does not send the papers in at the right time or does not
include the proper filing fee, you will lose your right to appeal, and you will not be able to get more time
because your lawyer messed up.

If your lawyer does not make a proper objection at trial and the case is lost because of bad evidence, you
will not be able to challenge the evidence on appeal because you claim that your lawyer made a mistake.

If your lawyer makes a poor, unplanned opening statement, the judge may enter judgment against you after the
opening statement without even having a trial, and there will be nothing you can do about it.

If your “bulldog” lawyer is disrespectful to the judge and to the other lawyer and mistreats and bullies
witnesses, the judge and the jury will view you with disdain, because your lawyer is behaving that way as
your agent, and his sloppiness and unprofessionalism will be your sloppiness and unprofessionalism.

A good lawyer who works with you on identifying your goals and best outcomes can be a positive force for you
in every aspect of your situation. A good lawyer who has training and experience can help you prepare for
worst-case scenarios and can help you improve your situation. A good lawyer can be a representation of you
at your very best while dealing with other people during negotiations, preparation, trial and appeal.

All this is why the Oklahoma Supreme Court said that lawyers are not interchangeable commodities. Your
decision and choice of a lawyer will have a profound effect on the outcome of your situation. A good lawyer
may have a higher rate than a poor lawyer, but a good, experienced lawyer may be more efficient and
effective with your dollars than a lawyer who charges much less. It has been said that “Nothing is more
expensive than a cheap lawyer.”

If you want to learn more, contact us to schedule a meeting. Our initial consultations are more than a
meet-and-greet. We will listen to you about your situation and your goals, and we will start the discussion
about making a winning plan.

A pretrial conference is a special hearing for a case going to trial. Pretrial conferences are governed by
Rule 5 of the Rules for District Courts of Oklahoma. Both sides must work together in the weeks before the
pretrial conference to create a pretrial conference order. The pretrial conference order summarizes the
issues of the case, lists each side’s witnesses and exhibits, and tells the judge how long the attorneys
believe the trial will take.

The pretrial conference order is a controlling document, meaning, absent very rare circumstances, neither
side can add witnesses or exhibits once the order has been approved and signed by the judge. If one side
does not appropriately participate in the pretrial conference, severe penalties can be imposed by the judge
against the unprepared side. In most cases, the pretrial conference is the last hearing before trial. This
means that all pending discovery and mediation should have already been completed before the conference.
Even though a pretrial conference may only take a few minutes, the final pretrial conference and the
pretrial order are very important.

We offer several types of fee arrangements for our services, depending on a number of factors:

• Flat fees
  • We offer flat-fee arrangements for uncontested, agreed family law cases. For a single fee,
    we provide paperwork, compliance with local and state rules, and guidance through the
    process, including assistance with filing and processing final documents.
  • We also offer a flat fee for criminal defense matters.
  • We do not offer flat fees for contested family law matters. If you are not sure that your
    family law case is uncontested, then we cannot offer you a flat-fee option.
• Hourly billing
  • Most of our work is done on an hourly billing basis. Our hourly fee agreements are called
    “Evergreen” retainers, which means that the client agrees to pay and maintain a
    pre-determined amount with us throughout the course of our representation. We work on both
    uncontested and contested family law, civil, and criminal defense matters by billing for our
    time.
• Contingency fees
  • We offer contingency fee services in select civil justice cases wherein we are engaged to
    represent the plaintiff. In a contingency fee arrangement, our fee is a pre-determined
    percentage of the total recovery awarded to the client. If there is no recovery, there is no
    fee owed to us.

There are 300 million smartphone users in the United States alone. Text messaging is part of virtually every
adult’s daily life. Because so much information is shared by text message, these messages can be critical
evidence in lawsuits, including family law cases.

Written evidence has to be produced in a format that can be read by the judge and preserved by the court
reporter. This means it is not enough to have your phone at the trial if you want to show a text message.
You must have the text messages printed out or in a PDF file that can be stored on a USB flash drive (or
both).

It is relatively easy on most cell phones to take a screenshot of anything appearing on the screen. However,
this is one of the least desirable ways to share your text message evidence. Screenshots from some cell
phones are very low resolution, which means that when the texts are printed on paper they are so grainy that
they are illegible. Screenshots are also limited to what you can see on the screen, so you can only see a
few messages for any given screenshot. Text messages require so much context that many times, the meaning of
the texts in a screenshot cannot be fully understood from the screenshot alone. So you need to be able to
produce all the text messages in a format that is easily readable and understood.

There are basically two types of cell phones: Androids and iPhones. Text messages on Androids can often be
exported to PDF format using a relatively cheap application called Legal Text Collector. Text messages on
iPhones may be exported to PDF using iMazing, which costs much more than the Android option.

Exporting the text messages is the first step, not the only step. Sometimes, the other side will try to deny
that the texts are authentic or legitimate. You will need to disclose the text messages to the other side as
soon as possible because if you wait till the last minute, there is a rule of evidence that allows evidence
to be excluded if it is being used as part of an unfair surprise. With careful planning, you may be able to
use the discovery process to force the other side to either admit that your texts are real or to show any
evidence that they have to support their claim that the texts are less than genuine.

If you only use screenshots, your attorney may have a difficult time properly arranging the screenshots in
chronological order, and your use of screenshots may help the other side claim that the screenshots are
missing important parts. There is a rule of evidence that if important context is missing, the messages may
be excluded because they do not accurately tell the whole story.

So, back up your cell phones regularly to the cloud and to a computer, and keep your old cell phones when
you transition to a newer model to preserve your evidence. Do not alter or delete messages from your message
history, as a side-by-side comparison of the messages will cast doubt on the legitimacy of the evidence. And
export your text messages into a good, readable format so that any reader can understand the important
information and messages that were exchanged.

These concepts apply to other evidence. If you have the option to download PDF bank statements or take a
screenshot from your phone, download the PDF. Even if the screenshot captured all the important information,
it gives the other side license to complain about not having “the whole thing.” Those complaints can cause
unnecessary delays in obtaining justice. It is worth the extra effort for you to obtain complete PDF records
when you can.

A legal dispute involves at least two adversaries. A pure defensive approach only gives the factfinder one
option: should I decide for the offense or not? This carries great risk because if your opponent proves
their case at a minimal level, the judge or the jury has no option but to decide in their favor. Developing
a plan, crafting a story and making your own request for an outcome creates a second option for the
decisionmaker to choose.

Planning is a critical element of legal advice and strategy. An example of this concept comes from criminal
defense strategy. In criminal cases in the United States, the government must prove each element of the
criminal charge beyond a reasonable doubt. If the government fails to prove just one element, then their
case fails, and the defendant must be acquitted. The defendant does not carry or share the burden of proof
and has no obligation to speak. Even in this lopsided scenario, a successful defense strategy must include
careful strategy, planning and storytelling to give the jury a reason to acquit, even though the defense has
no legal burden of proof.

Our founding fathers understood this principle. George Washington said, “The best defense is a good
offense.” Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” In any legal dispute,
you should:

• Do a cost-benefit analysis. Planning consumes time and energy, and it can be expensive. The expense
  must be contrasted against your potential exposure in the event of a loss.
• Make a plan. Gather and organize your evidence to tell your story and show the reality of the
  situation, in contrast to the other side’s false or exaggerated claims.
• Take nothing for granted. Do not assume that the factfinder will see through the other side’s
  allegations. Rather than take an i or defensive approach of “Can they prove it?” you can work with a
  qualified trial lawyer to make a strong case

The simplest way to completely resolve a legal dispute is to reach an agreement. Opposing parties to a
lawsuit are permitted, within certain limits, to reach settlement agreements resolving all issues in the
dispute. However, even when legal matters are resolved by agreement, there still may be some opportunity for
one side or the other to change their mind.

When legal matters are decided by a judge or jury, either party may file a motion for a new trial within 10
days of the filing of the judgment. The grounds for new trial are limited to:

1. Irregularity in the proceedings of the court, jury, referee, or prevailing party, or any order of
   the court or referee, or abuse of discretion, by which the party was prevented from having a fair
   trial;
2. Misconduct of the jury or a prevailing party;
3. Accident or surprise, which ordinary prudence could not have guarded against;
4. Excessive or inadequate damages, appearing to have been given under the influence of passion or
   prejudice;
5. Error in the assessment of the amount of recovery, whether too large or too small, where the action
   is upon a contract, or for the injury or detention of property;
6. That the verdict, report, or decision is not sustained by sufficient evidence, or is contrary to
   law;
7. Newly discovered evidence, material for the party applying, which could not, with reasonable
   diligence, have been discovered and produced at the trial;
8. Error of law occurring at the trial, and objected to by the party making the application; or
9. When, without the fault of the complaining party, it becomes impossible to prepare a record for an
   appeal.

Additionally, if a litigant files a motion for a new trial and the motion is denied, then any appeal from
the matter will be limited to the issues raised in the motion for a new trial. For example, a litigant may
believe that there were three big errors in the trial, but their motion for a new trial only addresses one
of the errors. If the trial court denies the motion for a new trial, any appeal will be limited to the issue
raised in the motion, and they will be prohibited from complaining on appeal about the two errors that they
did not mention in the motion for a new trial. Because of this risk of waiver, motions for new trial require
careful thought and strategy.

Within 30 days of filing a judgment, the judge may vacate or modify the judgment for almost any reason. This
is called “term-time power,” and it applies to both settlement agreements and trial outcomes. If either side
wishes to appeal, they must file the appeal in this 30 day window. If either side desires to request
compensation for their attorney fees incurred in the litigation, they must file their attorney fee request
in this 30 day window. In other words, there is really no finality for up to 30 days after filing of a
judgment, including things like divorce decrees.

After 30 days pass from the date the judgment was filed, the rules for vacating or modifying judgments
change. The procedure is different, and the grounds for vacation or modification of a judgment after 30 days
are limited to:

1. By granting a new trial for the cause;
2. Where the defendant had no actual notice of the pendency of the action at the time of the filing of
   the judgment or order;
3. For mistake, neglect, or omission of the clerk or irregularity in obtaining a judgment or order;
4. For fraud, practiced by the successful party, in obtaining a judgment or order;
5. For erroneous proceedings against an infant, or a person of unsound mind, where the condition of
   such defendant does not appear in the record, nor the error in the proceedings;
6. For the death of one of the parties before the judgment in the action;
7. For unavoidable casualty or misfortune, preventing the party from prosecuting or defending;
8. For errors in a judgment, shown by an infant in twelve (12) months after arriving at full age; or
9. For taking judgments upon warrants of attorney for more than was due to the plaintiff, when the
   defendant was not summoned or otherwise legally notified of the time and place of taking such
   judgment.

If fraud is claimed, the petition to vacate claiming fraud must be filed within 2 years of the filing of the
judgment.

Simply filing a judgment does not start the clock for the 10-day, 30-day and 2-year deadlines. In addition
to filing the judgment, the person filing the judgment must also certify in writing that the filed judgment
is being mailed to the opposing party. Then they must actually mail the filed judgment the same day to the
opposing party. If the certificate of mailing is overlooked and not filed, that can mean that the finality
timeline never started, and the opposing party may file a simple motion to have the case reopened. In cases
resolved by agreement, this rule can be treated a little differently, so each side is required to keep an
eye on the court docket to see when the judgment was filed in order to calculate their 30-day window.

You should try to gather as much information as possible before a lawsuit is filed. During a marriage,
spouses generally have equal rights to marital property. Each spouse has equal access to certain financial
information, including joint income tax returns and joint bank account statements. If you live in a marital
home, even if your name is not on the deed, it may be very easy for you to grant access to an appraiser to
value the residence before filing. When a case is filed, things change. In divorces, when a case is filed, a
special court order called an “Automatic Temporary Injunction” goes into effect. This injunction and the
separations and actions that begin when a case is filed can limit your access to information. While your
attorney can engage in a process called discovery to ask the other side to respond to questions,
gamesmanship is common, and their responses will likely be filtered by an attorney who sees their job as
obstructing access to information.

In some circumstances, it is simply not possible to gather all the information that is needed before filing.
You should still work hard to obtain everything you can on your own because knowing what you have makes it
easier to identify the things that you do not have and make special requests for discovery.

Every family law matter has its own unique informational needs. We have put together a list of information
as a starting point to help people think through the needs of their situation and make a strong case.

Virtually all lawsuits, including criminal cases, have a series of stages: investigative work that may be
done before the case is filed, filing and serving the case, exchanging initial disclosures of evidence,
discovery, pretrial motions and hearings, a final pretrial conference, trial, and possibly appeal. The
length of time that each stage may take in any given case can vary depending on the circumstances. In many
cases, one side wishes to move to trial quickly, and the other side wishes to delay trial, so there is
tension between the adversaries in each stage of the case about whether and when to move on to the next
phase of the case. To make sure that each side has enough time to complete the necessary work for each stage
and ensure that neither side drags out the stages, judges can enter a special order called a “scheduling
order.”

A scheduling order establishes firm deadlines for the completion of certain tasks by each side of a case. In
Oklahoma state courts, scheduling orders are defined by a special rule called Rule 5 of Rules for District
Courts of Oklahoma. Rule 5 explains the purposes of these orders and even includes a standard form. Either
side may request a scheduling order, or the judge may enter one even if neither side has requested it. In
federal court, it is common for judges to enter scheduling orders at the beginning of a case.

A scheduling conference is a court hearing for the lawyers to present their proposed deadlines for each
stage of the case. Scheduling conferences are generally uneventful and often unnecessary because in most
cases the lawyers can agree to proposed deadlines between themselves without going to court and simply
present an agreed scheduling order to the judge for approval. If the lawyers cannot agree on deadlines, then
a scheduling conference is a place where the lawyers can make an argument to the judge about how much time
they need for any particular part of the case.

A scheduling order can help ensure that a case moves forward, especially when the other side has an
incentive to delay the case and try to avoid trial. Although the deadlines in a scheduling order are not
supposed to be easily changed, some judges will allow the attorneys to essentially ignore the deadlines,
while other judges will take a very rigid approach to the deadlines. The deadlines in scheduling orders must
be treated seriously, even though the approach to scheduling orders varies by judge.

Sometimes, a deadline in a scheduling order cannot be met. In most circumstances, the lawyers can agree to
move the deadline and present an agreement to the court to reschedule the deadline. There are different
legal standards for moving a scheduling order deadline before the deadline has passed versus when the
deadline has already passed. In other words, if the discovery was ordered to be completed by a certain date
and one side needs more time, it is much easier for them to move the deadline if they ask for more time
before the deadline expires as opposed to waiting until after the deadline passes then asking for more time.
If a deadline is approaching that cannot be met, the problem must be addressed right away.

Our process for handling cases is designed to ensure that our cases are well put together and ready for a
trial as soon as possible. In many cases we do not request a scheduling order because we have worked up the
case well enough that the necessary stages are evident and obvious to all the participants. However,
sometimes we ask for a scheduling order when we anticipate that the other side is going to play games to try
to drag out a case. For instance, as part of our process, we generally include a packet of evidence,
discovery requests and a settlement offer as part of the paperwork that the other side receives from us at
the beginning of a case. By doing this work, we knock out several stages of the typical litigation process
all at once.

Unfortunately, we have had cases where we gave out our evidence, issued discovery requests, received their
responses and made a settlement offer. Then, when we requested a trial, the other side claimed for the first
time that “discovery is not complete” and sent our client discovery requests, months after the case was
initiated, and months after they should have already engaged in discovery.

A scheduling order can sometimes preempt and avoid bad behavior by requiring lawyers to issue their
discovery early in the case, preventing them from trying to restart stages of litigation to avoid trial.

We ask our clients to attend every hearing in their matter when possible so they can fully participate and
be informed about developments in their case. Although scheduling conferences are routine events that only
take a few moments, we invite our clients to attend and hear the deadlines that are issued so that they
understand the judge’s expectations for progress in their case.

Yes. You should plan on appearing at every hearing in your case, even if you and your attorney expect very
little to happen at a particular hearing.

There are several types of hearings where you may not say or do anything. The names for these types of
hearings vary and range from: “status conferences,” “reviews,” “pretrial conferences,” and “scheduling
conferences.” Even though you may not expect to testify or participate in one of these hearings, and even if
the opposing counsel has told their client (your opposing party) that they do not need to appear, you should
plan on being present. Judges have broad discretion in handling hearings, and a judge may decide they need
information from you, or your lawyer may need your input on the spot about a decision that could affect some
part of your case.

By appearing, you show that you are actively involved and interested in the outcome of your case. You will
be better informed about the status of the case, the demeanor and temperament of the judge, and the working
relationships between the attorneys, the judge, and the court staff.

We recognize that life happens, and sometimes circumstances do not permit an appearance at every court date.
We represent residents of other states and foreign nationals who cannot appear in person for routine status
and scheduling conferences. However, if you think you may not be able to be present at court, you should let
your attorney know in advance to discuss your options. Options may include a request for a continuance, or
you may be able to appear by video or telephone. If you cannot participate and appear at a hearing, you
should reach out to the law office after the hearing and ask what happened and if there is anything specific
that you need to know or do.

You should not delete or destroy evidence that may be material to a lawsuit, including a divorce, even if
the evidence is bad for your case. The legal concept is called “spoliation.” Spoliation refers to:

• the destruction,
• the material alteration or
• the failure to preserve for another’s use
• evidence in a pending or reasonably foreseeable litigation.

This rule may seem counterintuitive, but it is the law in Oklahoma and most states. There are several
reasons why getting rid of evidence is a bad idea.

You have a legal duty to preserve evidence related to your case, even if it is evidence that you may not
want to use for your own claim or defense. If you delete or alter evidence, the judge may impose sanctions
against you. You may be required to pay the other side’s attorney fees. The judge may impose an “adverse
inference” against you, which means finding that the missing evidence would have been good for the other
side and bad for you. The value of your legal claims may be diluted or dismissed altogether.

Many legal claims and lawsuits are based on human error or misconduct. Someone, possibly you, made a
mistake. When it becomes clear that there was a misstep, it is a natural reaction to feel anxiety or even
panic, and those feelings are detrimental to your judgment and decision-making ability.

If you make rash decisions and try to delete or manipulate evidence, you may actually make your situation
much worse. For example, if you say something negative in an electronic message and then delete the message
out of fear that it may be used against you, it is possible that the other side will claim that you said
things much worse than what you actually said, and you will not have any proof to give context or to show
that they are exaggerating. “Bad” evidence may end up proving something different than you may even be able
to imagine. A traffic ticket for reckless driving could be good evidence to show where you were (and where
you weren’t) at a specific time. You cannot fully predict the value or quality of your information, so you
should preserve it to protect yourself.

A trial is about credibility. Judges and juries are constantly evaluating who they can trust. Witnesses and
lawyers often lose credibility by making misstatements about collateral or side issues that don’t have
anything to do with the critical issues in the case. Spoliation is one way that can happen. You could cause
unnecessary harm to your legal position by simply failing to keep evidence about what happened.

Work with a qualified trial lawyer. Show them everything. Rules of confidentiality and privilege completely
protect your conversations with your lawyer. Talk to your trial lawyer about your bad evidence. You may
learn that what you perceive as harmful may be irrelevant, neutral, or even good evidence for your
situation. By taking ownership of the evidence and addressing it appropriately, you may be able to give
mitigating context for it while simultaneously enhancing your credibility for your case.

Ideally, should have at minimum $15,000 cash at hand, and the best answer we can give you is $25,000 plus a
full-time job. That’s in 2023 dollars, so add 15% for every year beyond 2023.

Does every case cost $15,000? Absolutely not. And that’s good news for you because if your case resolves for
$6,000, or even $4,000, the remainder will be much-needed money you get to keep. But if your ex is
malicious, or an abuser, or a narcissist, or even if he’s none of those but hires one of the lawyers at a
“big firm” who has to bill $40,000 per month just to pay their overhead and keep their job, then you will
experience some real nonsense, and you will have to both keep up and push back.

Even if you’re reasonable and have your act together, you’ll need your lawyer to address the motion practice
and discovery, including depositions, to get you to a negotiating table or a courtroom where it matters.
Having a job helps too – it means you have cash flow while your case is going on – and you’ll be productive,
busy, and be able to address legal bills beyond the $10,000 or $20,000 budget if it comes to that. If you
don’t have that kind of cash? There are options, including Affirm from LawPay.

There are several ways you can reduce their attorney fees. It is important to stay focused on the ultimate
resolution of your case – the “big picture” – so you are not distracted by the many variables and
unpredictable elements of a lawsuit that can be distracting.

Being proactive can help. As much as possible, you should gather any requested information in a timely
manner and notify the firm when the information is ready.

Before each appointment, make an outline or list of the information you want to discuss with your attorney.

Work with your attorney to place a reasonable limit on what you want to accomplish in your case. Consider
how you may compromise issues with the opposing party to avoid unnecessary hearings and conflicts when
possible. Mediation can resolve issues that seem unresolvable if both parties are willing to compromise.

Consider private, individual counseling to discuss and address emotional nonlegal issues and anxiety
associated with litigation. Lawsuits are stressful. Investing in psychological help is valuable, as you’ll
generally be better able to cope with the stress of the case and recognize elements that are within your
ability to control versus elements and things beyond your or your attorney’s control.

Indirect contempt proceedings in Oklahoma are unique creatures. They are neither civil nor criminal, yet
they carry important features of each process. In Oklahoma family law cases, contempt charges often run
parallel or are integrated into the civil aspect of the family law case in which the contempt charge is
grounded, and the Oklahoma Discovery Code is typically understood as incorporated into the charge of
contempt. In addition, the accused must be informed of their rights and the charge against them and may be
entitled to court-appointed counsel. The accused has the right to trial by jury. A contempt charge carries
up to six months in the county jail and a $500 fine.

There are two types of indirect contempt charges, each carrying a heightened burden of proof. The United
States Supreme Court case of Hicks v. Feiock, 485 U.S. 624, 108 S.Ct. 1423, is controlling for contempt
charges. A charge of indirect contempt is either remedial, designed to coerce compliance with a court order,
or penal, designed to punish noncompliance with a court order. The burden of proof at trial varies depending
on the nature and purpose of the contempt charge. For a remedial charge, the burden of proof is the clear
and convincing standard, and the contemnor must be given an opportunity to purge, or correct, the contempt
charge. A punitive charge is designed solely to punish noncompliance, and it carries the full burden of
proof beyond a reasonable doubt associated with criminal charges, due to the potential for jail time. The
nature of the proceeding is determined by the relief sought by the moving party.

A case of indirect contempt begins by filing a charging document, usually called an application for citation
for indirect contempt of court, specifically setting out the allegations against the party charged with
contempt. A contempt charge concerning support should include a request to update the amount due throughout
the litigation; otherwise, the contempt charge will only concern the amount of support that is expressly
identified in the complaint. The citation will summarize the allegations, set the date, time and place for
arraignment, and include a warning that failure to appear at the arraignment could result in a bench
warrant. The party charged with contempt must be served with the application and the citation unless they
are represented by counsel.

The initial appearance by the party accused of contempt is called an arraignment, just like a criminal case,
and at that time, they have the right to know the specific allegations against them, the right to an
attorney, and the right to demand trial by jury. In most circumstances, the parties will be able to conduct
discovery prior to trial.

In many contempt charges, it is obvious that the court order was not followed. The issue for trial is one of
willfulness, meaning either that the party charged with contempt could have complied with the court order
but did not, that circumstances beyond either party’s control made compliance not possible, or that the
noncompliant party did not intend to violate the order. Willfulness, or the lack thereof, is often
demonstrated through circumstantial and comparative evidence. If one claims in their defense that they did
not pay an ordered obligation because they could not pay it, the challenge will be to determine whether they
had funds, whether they made other purchases, and what level of effort they made to acquire funds or to pay
the obligation. Both parties should explore these questions; however, the inability to comply with a payment
order is an affirmative defense for the accused rather than an element of contempt to be proven by the
accuser.

We use the fastest process servers in the area, but there can still be a lag of at least 48-72 hours
depending on the process server’s level of business and the quality of information we have about where the
other party is. We ask you to send us the best location information available and a photograph (headshot) of
the other party so that we can share that information with the process server to help them with service. In
many cases, we may connect you with the process server so that you may answer any questions they may have.

We will let you know when we learn that service has been accomplished. In many cases, you may learn about
service before we do.

Generally, yes. Filing first does not by itself give either side an advantage when it comes to property
possession. However, neither party is permitted to disturb the peace, which includes breaking doors or
windows. If a protective order is in effect, that may restrict the ability of a party to enter onto specific
property. If you feel threatened by words or actions of the other party, you should contact law enforcement.

We bought a house during the marriage, but it is in my name only, and I made all the payments.

No. The house is marital property because it was purchased during the marriage. It does not matter whose
name it is in. Contribution during a marriage by either spouse is marital and divisible.

No. We recommend obtaining an independent professional appraisal so that you may have a more accurate
picture of the value of your marital estate for negotiation and strategy purposes. We do not advise relying
on Zillow or tax assessments for valuing property.

The tagline of “and for an award of all attorney attorney fees and costs incurred” is common boilerplate language in
attorney forms. It does not necessarily mean that you will pay all or any part of the other side’s attorney fees. Think
of it like a safety net or a placeholder. Lawyers include this language to preserve the possibility of asking for fees
later, if the circumstances allow for it. It’s not a detailed request for money at that moment, but more of a generic
request, or even a wish. There’s an enormous difference between that general statement and what’s required to actually
get attorney fees awarded. It’s like saying, ‘I might want dessert later.’ It doesn’t mean you’re ordering it, how much
it will cost, or even if it’s available. It just keeps the option open. To actually get fees, a litigant would have to
file a separate, detailed motion, pointing to a specific statute or legal principle that allows for attorney fees in
your precise situation. It would have to explain why a fee award is justified in this specific case, such as a
fact-based, objective demonstration that the other party acted unreasonably or in bad faith. It would need to have
detailed billing records attached , showing the time spent, the tasks performed, and the hourly rates.

So, while that language is included in most forms, it does not mean that the judge will award anyone fees

Yes. All witnesses are expected to tell the truth, no matter who they are related to or friends with. It is possible that we may interview witnesses before trial to assess what they know, and even take their deposition.

No. Although protective orders involve similar claims, they are unique cases. It is possible for a judge to deny a protective order petition yet make a finding that domestic abuse happened. Likewise, it is possible for someone to obtain a protective order, yet the judge may decline to make a domestic violence finding with custody and attorney fee consequences. You cannot afford to take anything for granted or take any shortcuts.

Under existing laws, by itself verbal abuse is not domestic violence. However, if physical abuse happened, verbal abuse may be good evidence to show the mental state and conduct of the abuser.

Guardianship may be an option for minor children who do not have proper parental care. Guardianships are
usually necessary in unfortunate circumstances, including the death or incarceration of both parents or
abandonment of the children by the parents.

To obtain guardianship of a minor child in a situation where the parent does not agree that he or she is
unfit, the potential guardian must prove that the parent is “unfit.” The United States and Oklahoma
Constitution provide strong protections for parental rights, so a person seeking guardianship of a minor
over the objection of the child’s parents must have strong evidence that the parents are unfit to have
custody and care of children. This often means that the parent is guilty of abuse or neglect. Prospective
guardians must pass stringent, thorough background checks and investigations to demonstrate that they are
qualified to have guardianship of children.

While many guardianships are resolved by agreement, in many circumstances, they are not agreed, so each
involved individual will need strong legal counsel to protect their rights and the interests of the
children. Because so many guardianships concern parental fitness, many times there are other legal
considerations and rights at issue. For example, if family members do not act quickly enough to intervene
for their relative children, the state may remove the children and place them in foster care. In other
cases, guardianship can be a predicate to the establishment of grandparent visitation rights.

Guardians generally have the responsibility for managing the child’s property and income, such as Social
Security survivors or disability benefits. Individuals involved in or associated with guardianship cases
will benefit from the analysis and advice of an experienced, knowledgeable family lawyer.

In the most general sense, support alimony in Oklahoma is about need and ability to pay. Spousal support
alimony may be awarded if the requesting spouse demonstrates both:

1. A “need” for alimony and
2. That the other spouse has the “ability to pay” support. Spousal support alimony is a “transitional”
   concept, meaning spousal support alimony is generally supposed to be calculated to assist the spouse
   who needs the support to “transition” into post-marital life.

Historically, alimony was only awarded to females. The United States Supreme Court determined that
considering gender for alimony claims violates the Equal Protection provision of the United States
Constitution. Now, either spouse may make a claim for alimony, regardless of gender. Oklahoma law does not
give us a method or mathematical formula for calculating support alimony. Alimony is fact-sensitive and
depends upon the application of a number of factors, including:

• The length of the marriage
• The age of each spouse
• The earning and income-producing capacity of each spouse
• The physical condition of each spouse
• The financial means of each spouse
• The mode, or standard of living to which each spouse became accustomed during the marriage
• The amount of income-producing property awarded to each spouse
• The anticipated length of time it will take for the recipient to transition to the workforce
• The recipient’s cost of living during the transition or adjustment period
• The conduct of the parties

Additionally, there is a special type of alimony awarded when one spouse works to put the other spouse
through school, and then, shortly after graduation, they divorce. The spouse who worked to put the other
spouse through school may make a claim for compensation for their sacrifice.

Overall, alimony is supposed to be reasonable, under all of the circumstances of the case. Whether we are
seeking alimony or defending alimony, our process for handling cases helps our client establish the
important facts from the very beginning. Most family law attorneys know these factors, but there is a
difference between knowing the law and knowing how to try a case in a courtroom. Addressing alimony in a
case is about more than knowing these factors – it is about persuasively presenting the facts and the
evidence to the judge in a compelling way.

You need legal representation in the United States. You are permitted to hire U.S. legal counsel to advocate
for your interests, regardless of your residency or citizenship status.

If you live outside of the U.S., you need a lawyer who has special skills for cross-border work. You may
also need a lawyer in your jurisdiction. If that’s the case, our law firm is set up to work alongside your
local lawyer. We have experience with the logistical and practical issues associated with international
cases.

Our attorneys frequently work with clients and their attorneys and advisors worldwide. We are highly
responsive and available for videoconferencing at times that make sense for your time zone, in addition to
our regular business hours. Our attorneys will communicate with you about your case’s legal and practical
aspects, and we will explain your options in detail so that you understand your situation. If possible, set
yourself up to communicate effectively with your lawyer.

Make sure you have access to a private email account and keep your notification settings on so that you can
receive all electronic correspondence about your matter. You may need to participate in court hearings by
video, so you should up free accounts across various videoconferencing platforms, including Zoom, Skype, and
Microsoft Teams.

You should also work with your local financial institution to ensure that you can send and receive money by
wire for your case’s financial needs and requirements. You can be proud of your culture and heritage without
fear of a U.S. court being biased against you.

Your status as a foreign national may not be as relevant as you think for a U.S. family law case. Generally,
family law courts are not permitted to use your citizenship as a factor against you, unless you are
determined to be a flight risk. It is common for U.S. citizen litigants to falsely claim that a foreign
national is a flight risk to try to create a bias in the court’s mind; however, that strategy can backfire.
If your opposing party makes an unfounded flight risk claim, it could damage their credibility and work to
your advantage during the legal process.

As members of the U.S. State Department’s Office of Children’s Issues Attorney Network, our office has
assisted foreign nationals with the return of their children to their home country. We are pleased to
represent the interests of non-U.S. citizens in various legal matters in our jurisdictions.

Issuance of a passport to a minor child is a matter governed by federal law. State trial courts have the
authority and ability to enter orders permitting or restricting the travel of a minor child and obtaining a
passport by either parent. Generally, both parents or legal guardians of a child under the age of 16 must
sign a passport application for a minor child.

There are exceptions to this rule, including a birth certificate listing only one parent, a court order
giving one parent sole custody of the child, or a court order that expressly authorizes one parent to apply
for a child’s passport without the involvement of the other parent. It is a federal crime under the
International Parental Kidnapping Crime Act for one parent to take a child outside of the country against
the other parent’s wishes. However, the United States does not have exit controls at its borders.

Once a passport has been issued, the Department of State will not revoke it. It may be difficult to prevent
a child’s international travel once a passport is issued for the child.

If your minor child may travel internationally, addressing international travel protocol in your child
custody order is important. Our law firm has proprietary language for special circumstances to address
passport application, use, and storage, and an express provision that the terms of The Hague Abduction
Convention apply if there is an abduction or wrongful retention.

When the divorce process begins, a special law is triggered called the “Automatic Temporary Injunction.” The
Automatic Temporary Injunction was designed to protect each spouse’s rights pending a court order, and it
includes some provisions concerning minor children. Several parts of the Automatic Temporary Injunction
could impact travel with your children:

1. Neither parent may disrupt or withdraw their children from an educational facility and programs
   where the children historically have been enrolled, or day care,
2. Neither parent may hide the children from the other parent, and
3. Neither parent may take the children outside of the State of Oklahoma, directly or in concert with
   others, except for vacations of two (2) weeks or less duration, without the prior written consent of
   the other parent, which shall not be unreasonably withheld.

This tells us that communication is critical. Even if you have longstanding vacation plans of less than two
weeks in duration, it is important to share the itinerary and schedule with the other parent to avoid any
misunderstanding or claim that the children are being hidden or that their education is being disrupted. In
some circumstances, getting permission from your assigned judge to travel out of state with your child while
your divorce is pending may be appropriate.

Child support is both income-based and time-based. Income for child support is defined as a parent’s gross
(pre-tax) income per month, while parenting time is measured by each parent’s number of overnights with a
child over the course of a year. A year is 365 days, so ½ of a year is 182.5.

When both parents have equal time with a child as measured over a year (one parent has 182 overnights and
the other parent has 183 overnights) the child support obligor will generally be the parent having greater
gross monthly income than the other parent.

Depending on each parent’s income, a parent can have up to 204 overnights with a child during a year (with
the other parent only having 161 overnights) while still being the child support obligor. As child support
is a function of income and child support, legal custody is irrelevant for child support calculation
purposes.

Thus, depending on income and the parenting schedule, it is possible for an individual to be the sole
custodial parent with the most annual parenting time, yet still be the child support payor. Child support is
calculated based on gross income yet paid out of net income. It is not tax-deductible, and it is not taxable
income for the recipient. As a result, child support often results in a significant redistribution of
discretionary income from one parent to another.

The DPOA is highly customizable, allowing your delegated powers to be broad or narrow, depending on your
specific wishes. The person you appoint should ideally be someone who understands your values, wishes, and
financial situation thoroughly.

Your DPOA can take effect immediately, or you can structure it so that it only becomes effective if you are
incapacitated. You can also specify conditions that must be met before your agent can exercise their powers.

With a Durable Power of Attorney, your agent gets the power to manage your bank accounts, investments, real
estate, and other financial matters. They can handle the upkeep of your property, make repairs, pay bills,
and make decisions about selling or renting your property. In addition to financial matters, your agent can
also make medical decisions on your behalf. These include consenting to or refusing treatment, communicating
with doctors, and making decisions about end-of-life care.

Having a DPOA can provide peace of mind, knowing that someone you trust is empowered to make decisions for
you if you become incapacitated. It ensures that your financial affairs and healthcare needs are handled
without interruption.

Moreover, a Durable Power of Attorney can help you avoid time-consuming and expensive court proceedings, as
it may preclude the need for a court-ordered guardian.

You may be deposed in your case regardless of whether we take a deposition or not. If we arrange for a
deposition of the opposing party or a third party witness, it may slightly increase the likelihood that
opposing counsel asks to take your deposition in turn. However, the other side’s ability to depose you is
independent of whether you choose to take any depositions or not.

Depositions can have a lot of value. What is
revealed in a deposition depends on the case and the witness. You can hear and learn firsthand, in real
time, what the witness knows or does not know about the case. You may be able to “box the witness in” to
limit their ability to change or add information later in the case. Deposition testimony helps the lawyers
further assess the strengths and weaknesses of a case based both on the testimony and the appearance
(optics) of the witness.

Written discovery is a separate
type of transaction and depositions may be performed independent of whether written discovery is underway or
not.

Yes. A deposition is a great place to go over exhibits with the witness being deposed.

If you are the one being deposed, then unequivocally yes, you must attend. However, if we are deposing an opposing party or a third party witness, your presence may not be required. It is often helpful for you to attend so that you can see and hear the answers and the overall experience as it occurs and even provide feedback during breaks.

Appeals are deadline and timeline driven. However, most of the legal work is done on the front end. The part of an appeal that takes the longest is the part that’s beyond either lawyer’s control: waiting for the decision. The appellate court can take as long as they want, and they often do. We will update you about any development as soon as we receive it.

Appeals require a great deal of work quickly. The appellate lawyer must gather the entire trial court record and then become intimately familiar with it. Once the record is complete, then the lawyer must perform legal research, reviewing applicable statutes and other appellate cases. Once adequate research has been performed, the lawyer begins writing the brief. All of this is done under the pressure of looming, meaningful deadlines. This means that the appeal will require the resources of the lawyer and support staff to ensure that deadlines are met, you are regularly updated, and the research and writing is all accurate and complete.

Appeals must be based on specific legal errors that occurred during the trial or hearing. This would mean that the judge misapplied or misinterpreted the law or did not follow the correct legal procedures in a way that affected the outcome. That last part is important: it is possible for a judge to make a big mistake, but if it does not affect the outcome, you will not win on appeal. An appellate court does not consider new evidence. The review is limited to the record of the lower court proceedings. It is statistically challenging to win an appeal, as the appellate court generally gives considerable deference to the trial court’s findings. A successful appeal requires a clear demonstration of a significant legal error that affected the final outcome of the case.

An appeal is a request for a higher court to review the trial, while a retrial is the process of conducting the trial again. An appeal is a review of the lower court’s proceedings for legal errors. It does not involve new evidence or testimony. A panel of appellate judges reviews the written briefs and trial record to see if a mistake was made that affected the outcome. If the appeal is successful, one possible outcome is that the appellate court orders (or “remands” for) a new trial. A retrial (or a new trial) is essentially a do-over of the original trial, which may be ordered by the appellate court or, in some cases, by the trial judge. In a retrial, the case starts over. Evidence is presented again, witnesses testify again, and a new decision or verdict is rendered by a new jury or judge. A retrial only happens if a significant legal error in the original trial is found to have been so prejudicial that it prevented a fair outcome.

While your trial attorney possibly can handle an appeal, appellate practice is a highly specialized field, and it is often advisable to hire an attorney who focuses specifically on appeals. The skills required for a successful appeal are distinctly different from those required for a trial. Trial Attorneys tend to excel at developing facts, examining witnesses, presenting evidence, and persuading a jury. Their focus is on building a record. Appellate Attorneys excel at dissecting that same record for legal errors, conducting exhaustive legal research, writing persuasive and highly technical briefs, and presenting nuanced oral arguments to a panel of judges. Their focus is on the law rather than the facts. A new attorney brings a fresh perspective. They can review the trial transcript with an objective eye, which can help them spot errors the original trial counsel might have missed.

Yes, not only is it possible, it is also common. The filing of an appeal often creates a new and powerful incentive for both parties to negotiate a settlement. The time, expense, and uncertainty of the appellate process can make a guaranteed, negotiated outcome more attractive than a potential win or loss months or even years down the road. Both sides face new risks. The party that won at trial risks having their victory overturned. The party that lost faces the prospect of paying even more in legal fees for a low chance of success. This mutual risk can bring parties back to the negotiating table. Many appellate courts have their own mediation programs specifically designed to help parties resolve their disputes before the court invests the time and resources to hear the appeal. Settling a case during the appeal provides certainty and puts an end to the litigation

Knowing that appeals are based on legal errors, you need to know if your specific errors have a real chance of leading to a reversal. A realistic evaluation involves a frank discussion with an experienced appellate attorney. A critical question is whether your trial lawyer properly “preserved” the error for appeal. This means they must have made a specific, timely objection on the record at the time the error occurred. If they didn’t, the appellate court will likely refuse to consider the issue under the “waiver” doctrine, no matter how significant the mistake was. Not all errors are created equal. The appellate court gives different levels of deference to the trial court depending on the type of issue. For example, a judge’s factual findings are very difficult to overturn, whereas a pure question of legal interpretation is reviewed “de novo” (from scratch), giving the appellant a better chance. An attorney can explain how the specific errors in your case will be viewed. A “strong” case for appeal has clear, preserved, prejudicial errors that are subject to a favorable standard of review.

The Risk of a Cross-Appeal: If you appeal the issues you lost, the other party (who won the case overall) might be prompted to file their own “cross-appeal” on issues they lost. This can open the door to a result that is even worse for you than the original trial court judgment.

The Emotional and Opportunity Cost of Finality: The appellate process is slow and emotionally draining. Deciding to appeal means putting your life or business on hold and remaining in a state of conflict and uncertainty for a long time. There is a significant, unrecoverable cost in the stress, distraction, and inability to move on and redirect your energy and resources elsewhere.

Payment of the Other Side’s Fees: In some types of cases, depending on the contract between the parties or specific statutes, you could be on the hook for the other side’s appellate attorney’s fees if you lose the appeal, adding a substantial financial penalty on top of your own costs.

You may see a request and think, “Well, that’s sort of true,” and be tempted to admit it. This is often a trap. We want to deny any request that is even slightly inaccurate, misleading, or open to interpretation.

When you admit something, that fact is established and can be presented to the judge as undisputed truth. You can’t take it back. When you deny it, the burden is on the other side to prove the statement is true, if they even want to continue to pursue that issue. This forces them to spend time, money, and effort gathering evidence, finding witnesses, and making their argument.

Many requests are worded in a way that benefits the other side. Admitting them locks you into their version of the facts. Denying it keeps the issue open for us to present our own evidence and context to the judge.

We only deny requests in good faith. We cannot deny something that is verifiably and completely true. However, for anything that is on the fence, arguable, or tells only half the story, a denial is the correct strategic move to protect you.

If a question does not apply to your situation at all, you should state that clearly.

Example Question: “State the name and address of your current employer.”

If you are unemployed: You should answer, “Not applicable, as I am currently unemployed.”

You are only required to provide information that you know or can reasonably obtain. If you truly don’t know an answer and can’t find it after a reasonable search, you must state that. A “reasonable search” means looking through your own records, files, and documents. You are required to describe what you did to search for the information before you say that you do not have it or could not locate or access it. This means more than merely stating, “After a diligent search and reasonable inquiry, I do not have sufficient information or knowledge to respond to this question.” You have to actually specifically describe what you did.

It is not uncommon to need more time to conduct a complete search for documents. In the meantime, we should still meet (beat) the deadlines for the other sections of the discovery, such as Interrogatories and Requests for Admission. We may provide responses on a segmented basis. We can provide your verified responses to the Interrogatories and Admissions before the deadline while we continue to work on locating the remaining documents. While producing everything at once is the ideal, meeting our existing deadlines with a partial response is far better than being late with the entire package. This allows us to show that we are doing everything we can in good faith and helps eliminate any argument by the other side that we are “doing nothing.”